My daughter is starting to cruise around the house all by herself now, it’s amazing. On Thursday she’s going to be a year old, unfreakingbelievable! But, *gasp* I’m “still” breastfeeding…
Unfortunately, my youngest sister-in-law, B, has a daughter, A, that is about 4 months younger than J. I say unfortunately because it seems like everything is a competition and everything I do is scrutinized against how B is doing things. I really try to avoid getting wrapped up in mommy wars and I try to let people’s comments or pressure to change the way I’m doing things roll off my back (Pass the bean dip!) but I feel like it’s going to get worse over the next few years.
The latest is “Well, B is only going to breastfeed until A is one…”, “You’re still doing that?”, “When are you going to give her milk?” or “When are you going to stop?” My answers: Oh, that’s cool. Yep, still doin’ it! She’s drinking milk right now… and she’ll stop when she’s ready.
My daughter is only a year old. She nurses for nutrition and for comfort which she is obviously ok with and I’m obviously ok with so why does it matter to you? What’s the point of asking these questions? Why don’t you just tell me what’s on your mind instead of beating around the bush?
So, you know what? Next time anyone asks me when I’m going to stop or if I’m still doing that I’ll simply ask why. Really, why do you want to know? What’s it to you? Yes, my daughter can eat regular food but she still has a need to breastfed just as your son/daughter might need their bottle, pacifier, thumb and/or to be rocked, swayed or bounced.
Breastfeeding offers amazing immunological and nutritional benefits plus it’s the perfect time for connection after being separated all day when I’m working. Not to mention children who breastfeed for an “extended” amount of time also benefit from fewer allergies, they’re well adjusted, possibly smarter, AND mother (and daughter, if you have a girl) can benefit from reduced risk of MANY cancers. (Get the fact sheet here.)
When kids have needs they express them and I believe in “giving in” to those needs not suppressing them with what I’m being told that they should or should not need. If my daughter has a need to nurse, I let her. Not because someone told me that was right or wrong but that’s what feels right to us.
I want to know why everyone has such an issue with “extended” breastfeeding because really, is it “extended”? What is considered “extended”?
In my eyes my daughter has a need and urge to nurse, so I let her and I’ll continue to let her until she and I are ready to stop. I think a better way to look at it would be continued breastfeeding. When is this magical time that it becomes “extended”? I’m not extending anything and I don’t think my daughter is; we’re simply continuing to breastfeed.
Breastfeeding is natural. Breastfeeding is normal. Breastfeeding doesn’t become “extended” it just continues until the need is gone. So, when you ask me why I’m still breastfeeding I’ll ask you why you’re still breathing. Oh, because you need to? Well, my daughter still needs to, too.
What are your experiences with “extended” breastfeeding? When do you think it crosses over to “extended”? Is it because of social pressure that you think it is now “extended” or personal beliefs?