The Epic Battles: Balance and Laundry

 

Finding life balance is a constant struggle we all face.  Everyday we’re told [by someone, maybe ourselves] that we need to accomplish more, consume less, keep up with the Jones’, be all we can be, parent more, stop helicopter-parenting, keep a clean home, stop wasting time cleaning, simplify our lives, buy the newest gadget, take care of ourselves, give selflessly, do more more more more more more….but remember, do less less less less less.

Exhausting.

Some days I feel like I have my world under control.  I feel accomplished, loved, loving, and helpful and that generally my life is the way it was meant to be.  On these wondrous days I usually have 0-2 loads of laundry in the queue waiting to get loaded into the machine. 

The other days I feel like I can never get ahead, never be good enough, never be myself, never take care of myself let alone my family and my laundry is in piles throughout the house taunting me.  Coincidence?

Most people will say to take time for yourself and you will find the balance that you need to preserver; I’m telling you that most people are full of it.  People dish this out but putting it into practice takes effort, something that a lot of us struggle with.

To help myself find balance I’ve decided to make a shift and make a plan of action.  I need to discover why I’m unhappy with myself.  Being unhappy is a hard thing to admit and own up to, actually.  I’m not unhappy because I’m not skinny enough, not the best wife, not the best mother; although, sure, being better and skinny might be nice.

I challenged myself to discover myself alone.  I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a worker, I am all of these things but they do not define me.  They are simply part of who I became due to my situations in life and because I lacked a plan.  I realize now that when I became a wife and thereafter a mother I didn’t know what I truly wanted out of life and therefore who I am right now often feels forced. 

Oh, cry me a river, right? 

Sometimes I don’t understand why I can’t be happy and I feel like my life is all out of wack because I know I have it pretty good.  But, I feel so stale because I never let myself out.  I never took the time to really discover what makes me who I am, what makes me tick, what keeps me going.  My kid does, my husband does, and these are fantastic parts of who I’ve become but really, who am I?

Today I’m just trying to catch up on my laundry, keep the loads balanced like my life, while reminding myself to be true.  Even though I have responsibilities, duties and I’m expected to do certain things I still need to remember who I am aside from it all.

Who are you?  How do you define yourself?  How do you balance your life and laundry?

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “The Epic Battles: Balance and Laundry

  1. i feel like i could have written this today!! thank you for so eloquently describing my feelings right now. I haven’t slept longer than an hour at a time in over a month, my house is a tip and i would commit cold bloody murder for a long bath. also seriously reconsidering having any more children, lol. I know that when i feel like this, it’s time to take time out FOR ME or its my kids that suffer. So tomorrow night I am joining my friends in the pub for a quick pint, and leaving hubby at home for a couple of hours with the boys. i cant wait!

    I think its impossible to fully discover yourself at any point because we are fluid; constantly growing and changing. we just gotta take time out to do things that we love, away from hubby and kids and parenting and laundry, to indulge the inner self that gets ignored. i feel like parenting makes up such a huge part of my identity.. who the f**k would i be without it??

    hmm. very thought provoking.

  2. and to add – yes, its incredibly hard to find that time to do the things we love… and the energy. hell, i can hardly remember what i like to do let alone find time to do it.

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