Category Archives: Parenting

Self-Confidence Was Born With My Daughter

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Learning from children

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared the many lessons their children have taught them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


It took having a baby to realize that my self-esteem issue was fabricated and instilled within me rather than something I was born with.  My daughter would cry out with such urgency the first few nights she was out of my uterus because she knew that if she cried it would be answered.  My daughter taught me how to become a confident mother because I let her.  I let her by listening, watching, and just being without judgment, without bias, without experience.

Sleeping J

I didn’t read a lot on caring for a newborn besides the basics of how to bathe them, how to diaper them, and how to feed them.  I believed that we all have natural instincts and we can learn how to parent the way our child needs if we are open to it.

After a few days of disarray I started to understand the grimaces, winces and squeaks that my daughter used as cues for when she was getting hungry.  I learned the grunt that meant she was uncomfortable or needed a new diaper.  I started to understand that my daughter had enough confidence in herself to tell me what she needed and when I got it “right” my confidence in myself built by leaps and bounds.

J sleeping on mama

So often I hear mothers talking about being manipulated by their infants and that they don’t want to “give in” to the cry or a “bad behavior”.  But, when you give in to your child’s needs, when you give in to what you feel is right rather than what you’ve been told is right that’s how you build your parenting confidence.  There is never a right or wrong way to do things when it comes to parenting because it’s ever evolving over time and the growth of your child(ren).

My daughter taught me to be a confident woman because that’s what she needed.  I became the perfect mother for my daughter because she still loved me even if I didn’t get it “right” the first time (or two).  She taught me about who I am instead of who I thought I was.  I am comfort, I am nourishment, I am shelter, I am home, I am peace, above all – I am mama.  And no one can replace me or my confidence in my new role.  I thank my daughter for the changes she caused within me to become who I am today, her perfectly imperfect mama.


Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 11 with all the carnival links.)


Filed under Parenting